And now, for no particular reason, I shall recount every official book based on or around the world of Stranger Things that I know of.

SUSPICIOUS MINDS: The first book to be released, it's an adult novel about Terry Ives meeting Dr. Brenner and going through the MK ULTRA experiments in the early 70s. Given that Henry Creel does not make one appearance in it, it may no longer be fully canon (possibly because he hadn't been invented yet, but you'll never get the Duffers to admit as much).

DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN: Released one year later, targeting the same market but by a different author. It follows Hopper and is mostly a flashback story about an experience he had in the late 70s.

RUNAWAY MAX, REBEL ROBIN: YA novels, set within the events of the series and focused around the character on the cover. Runaway Max is a retelling of Season Two entirely from Max's perspective. A third book focused on Eddie, Flight Of Icarus, was released in 2025 but I have yet to see it in the wild.

WORLDS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN: This book is an absolute treasure if you're going to be drawing a webcomic set between seasons 2 and 3. It contains a map of Hawkins, photos of the sets, everything you need to know about the characters, and all the behind the scenes details on the production of the series up to the year 2018. When I first found it I was like, "it's too bad someone ripped the cover up, but at least they were nice to cover the remnants in protective plastic." Then I found a second copy and discovered they were all sold that way.

VISIONS OF THE UPSIDE DOWN: An art book, sort of. No concept sketches or anything that was actually used for the show are in it. It's all fake movie posters and illustrations by people hired to come up with their own art interpretations of the series. I'm not sure why this exists beyond making money.

THE BARB BOOK: A small square-shaped gift book devoted entirely to the memory of Barbara Holland. You might wonder how an entire book can be written about Barb given how little there is to work with. It's a good question -- I don't envy whoever had to take this job. Half of it is essays ("We are all Barb Holland" and "We demand justice for Barb") and a good chunk of it is every scene Barb was in, retold in comic form (one panel a page). No picture available because I was too embarrassed to take it to the counter.

ALWAYS COUNT ON ELEVEN, HAWKINS A TO Z: Little Golden Books. They use the Funko Pop versions of the characters for some reason. Don't act so surprised this very PG-13 show has preschool books to its name. I've learned there is an entire sub-market of LGBs that are more or less clean but specifically target adults with their subject matter.

THEN THERE ARE THE COMIC BOOKS: ...and I wish they were better. They are mostly mini-stories that take place between the seasons and answer questions no one has like "how was the Demogorgon shipped to Russia." Nothing is allowed to happen on the magnitude of an actual season, because that would be making stuff up, so Upside Down visits are almost nonexistent and Eleven barely appears. There's great potential in Stranger Things comics that remains untapped because no one can break canon. Why do you think I make my own?

Comics aren't supposed to be like this. Comics are best when they are free to create their own canon; when the author is allowed to stretch their imagination and work to the best of their own ability. Imagine if Bobbi and David Weiss were told they couldn't write Legend of the Chaos God because there was no Chaos God on any of the Disney Afternoon shows. Imagine if Carl Barks had been told he couldn't deviate in any way from the Donald Duck theatrical shorts or invent any new characters.

This creative restriction affects not just the books, but everything else. Stranger Things 3: The Game is simply Stranger Things 3 as a game, no deviation. (Good luck finding it by the way.) Right before Telltale Games collapsed, they announced they had begun work on their own Stranger Things game, and I'm going to wonder forever what they had in mind. What if they were working on the only original plot in the entire extended universe?

But it's not all doom and gloom. There is an exception. There is ONE TIME the Duffers removed their oppressive thumbs from the creative process and allowed something totally wacky, totally amazing, and definitely, ABSOLUTELY non-canon to hit the four-color press. I can't believe that it exists. But I LOVE that it does.

Yes, you're looking at a comic where the Hawkins kids meet the Ninja Turtles.

LOOK AT THIS. This is a drawing where Raphael is training with El and he's coming at her with a katana and she's countering with a million throwing stars and kunai at once.

THIS IS OFFICIAL ART!

And it's actually a good story! It's not just trading off either IP, it's actually legit entertainment. It manages to blend both worlds seamlessly and stay faithful to both groups of chraracters. It belongs in every library. It's a crime there's no hardcover edition.

To start off with, who comes to who? The kids make the journey...the comic starts off with Mr. Clarke taking his class on a field trip through Manhattan. How does a small-town middle school have the budget to bus an entire class from Indiana to New York City? Who cares? I don't really care how they make this happen, the important thing is that it's happening.

The six are supposed to follow Clarke and board a subway, but when they get distracted by a craving for New York pizza, they turn around a minute later and find him gone. The rest of the class has moved on without them and they have to catch up by taking the next train. Once down at the station, though, they start hearing unnatural hissing noises coming from the tunnels. Hissing that feels familiar.

Despite Dustin's insistence they don't, the majority vote is to investigate. El throws out her hand and causes the ticket dispenser to go out of whack, providing a distraction, and they jump onto the tracks.

It's in the tunnels they find...not what they expected or have any experience with. It's Mousers, the mechanical menaces created by mad scientist Baxter Stockman. Only these Mousers are of a different breed; they have open blossom-like mouths, like...

El is about to take care of them when she's interrupted. Because that's when THEY show up:

In 1985, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was just an indie comic. This crossover cleverly uses the original Eastman/Laird art style and setup for the Turtles and their surrounding cast, and renders the Hawkins gang as they might have looked in that comic at the time. This also means all the Turtles are wearing the same color bandanas, as they weren't made different until later.

Leo tells them not to be scared, but they look more fascinated than anything. They of course have seen worse. At that point actual Demodogs arrive to make that point clear, and just as the Turtles reach for their weapons, El slams the beasts against the wall. There are officially no secrets between them, so one transition later, the kids are at the sewer lair.

They seem a lot more surprised by the existence of a giant rat than they are by four giant talking turtles. There's a more urgent situation to focus on, though, so they quickly accept this stuff. Mike explains that the monsters they just saw come from another dimension, but he's at a loss to explain how they can be in New York City. He fears he and his friends are somehow responsible, though he isn't sure how.

Will tells them they weren't followed. He can sense there's an Upside Down equivalent of New York City, because it's everywhere -- the portals just aren't. This is a direct contradiction of the yet-to-be-produced Season 5, which establishes the UD as more of a gateway than a dimension and shows it's confined to just the Hawkins area. Evidently writer Cameron Chittock was never told this. But the story would be impossible under those rules, or perhaps not nearly as fun. I still think the gateway thing was the show's "Midichlorians" moment and should not have been done.

The Turtles tell the gang about Stockman. It doesn't make sense that the Mousers are back because they already took care of this guy and he should be in jail, they say. So where is he now? El says she can track him down with her mind.

Raph isn't happy letting El wear one of their bandanas, because their ninja training instructs that such things have to be earned. But she needs sensory deprivation to make it work, so he relents. Delving nto the void, El finds Stockman at a desk, writing the number "11" over and over on pieces of paper. The clear message is that he wants her to find him.

They can do that, but there's a second problem right now -- the Demomousers in the subway. What if there are more -- what if they attack people? The newly formed super-team splits up in two. El, Raph, Don, Dustin and Max will investigate the Stockman thing, while Mike, the other Mike, Lucas, Will and Leo will head back to the subway. Both teams will stay in contact via walkie-talkies, which of course always worked better in movies and TV than they did in real life.

It doesn't take long for El to find Stockman. He's right there, on the roof of a building, expecting her...and he's accompanied by about twenty guys with electroshock sticks. Where'd he find so much help?

That's where the first issue leaves things, and it looks like she's got this, but when the second issue opens, she wakes up...back home. Staggering out of bed, she finds an uncharacteristically reasonable Hopper who says he's going to let her do anything she wants today. An obvious dream, so where is she really?

The other kids and Turtles wake up trapped in cell blocks with sophisticated electronic locks. Donatello examines them and declares they're clearly Srockman's work...which means they will be difficult to pick. As he's trying to solve that problem, he hears a crashing noise from down the hall. Raphael has already escaped his cell, not bothering with the lock because his method of just running into it was better.

Sneaking through the halls, they find scientists building more Mousers. Again, the question how Stockman was able to gather such resources is brought up. But they don't have time to ponder that because they just found Stockman...and El.

Through his equipment and inventions, Stockman is manipulating El's dream. Posing as Hopper, he's trying to convince her to break down their front door using any resources she has. In the real world, this will cause her to open a portal directly inside the lab -- what Stockman desires.

After retrieving his sais, Raph is able to intimidate the scientists into spilling the full situation. El and Stockman cannot be disconnected from the machine without mental damage. One of them must choose to end the simulation willingly...and one's NOT willing, while the other doesn't know. With limited time until Stockman gets what he wants, there's only one solution...someone else is going to have to join them.

Even though the jig is up, Stockman insists they can't leave, nor fight him, as they are trapped in his world. Then he scoffs at them both, calling them mere accidents of science.

Raph remarks that if he has to TELL them he's in control, then he's probably bluffing and actually isn't. They share a smile.

The other half of the team has found the source of the Demos: an empty subway car with a gateway to the Upside Down at the end. It's stopped for now, but how far did it travel before then and how many monsters got out? This job could be more complicated than they thought...and they don't get a moment of rest as two Demogorgons immediately emerge from the portal.

Leonardo and Michelangelo warn the kids to stay back. Mike tells them "They're apex predators! They can't see you, but they will still find you and tear you apart!" There's another thing that was disproven by Season 5 as several sequences were shot from a Demo's POV. So the question becomes how on earth CAN they see? It wasn't echolocation like Rocky in Project Hail Mary, it was in full color.

The Turtles kick the two Demos around for a couple dozen panels, but neither is making much progress. After their weapons are knocked out of their hands, Mike and the others decide they have to do something. So they grab the Turtles' weapons AND....

....one issue later it turns out to be a fakeout. They cut down some vines instead; the Turtles set the vines afire with a lighter and take advantage of the Demos' weakness. Once that's done, the next step on the journey is to....go in there, something Will is definitely not comfortable with, but realizes has to be done.

Baxter Stockman wakes up still strapped to his pod, surrounded by scowling teenagers and teenage turtles and Dustin pointng and cooing "Youuuu're in trouuuble." They demand a full explanation of what's going on. Baxter confesses he found the Demodogs roaming the alleys and was curious, so he built the Demomousers to blend in with the herds and track them. The arrival of El threw a wrench in that plan, but he recognized her since...Baxter Stockman is friends with Dr. Brenner and they worked together! Sure, why not?

They know the rest from there: he captured her in order to make a portal and continue his research. But it all leaves one big unanswered question...why did the original gateway open up in NYC in the first place? The other posse is about to find out.

Passing into the Upside Down, Leo and Mikey find a gruesome sight: a pile of bodies. Seems a bit too graphic for a story like this, doesn't it? That's because it's not what it seems. Leo has a hunch, pulls open one of the bodies and finds what he expected...

UTROMS! Alien brain-looking things that hide on Earth inside humanoid robot replicas. If the only one you're familiar with is Krang, you have a lot to learn. Anyway, when the Utrom scampers away without saying anything. Mike postulates that it must be under control of the Mind Flayer. Which can only mean one thing....HE'S IN NEW YORK TOO!

Leo and Mikey find the Utrom and realize he's not under mind control after all. The next thing they want is the full story, so the Utrom gives it to them: they were working on a way to get back to their own dimension, but opened up the wrong portal. It wasn't open long, just long enough for the Mind Flayer to take control of them all and have them start work on a great machine, Once complete, it will rip open a tear across Manhattan large enough for the shadow monster to break through. And of course, it's complete RIGHT NOW.

The other half of the team is clued in rather quickly when they hear reports of flickering lights throughout Times Square. They have to get there fast, so...they hitch a ride with April O'Neil and Casey Jones! Gotta get them in here somehow...

All the lights going crazy, people screaming and all the Demodogs running around is an impressive scene that would take a fifth season budget to recreate. Before they get into the thick of it, Raph has something to tell El: he trusts her with the bandana now.

And NOW it's SERIOUS!

Both parties simultaneously run up the floors of the Empire State Building, swinging bats at monsters in an attempt to make it to the roof before the portal becomes too big to stop. You need the actual physical comic book to read this as half of each page is appropriately upside down.

It's there on the roof that they join forces again. Mikey and Leo leap through the portal followed by the kids. Max comes in from the other end, controlling the robotic Demomousters with Stockman's device. They find the machine that's powering everything, and Dustin throws his bat at it. One dramatic burst of white light later, the threat is over.

After all that, the Utroms are still stuck on Earth. Leo says they'll learn to like it if they give it a chance.

Everyone says their goodbyes and the super-team splits up. Rejoining Mr. Clarke, they give an excuse about getting lost in the subway system, but only they know the truth...about a lot of things. Max remarks that whatever's on the rest of the tour, it won't compare to what came before.

And there you are. The greatest official Stranger Things comic book there is, and at the rate things are going, ever will be. It's a glimpse into what could be possible if they were written the way comic books used to be and are supposed to be.

As I write this, the first season of Stranger Things: Tales From 85 has just been released. It's the first official project, besides the above, where the leash has been loosened a little bit and the hired writers are allowed to come up with original elements, like monsters that aren't the same cut-and-pasted Demogorgons, or even new characters that don't appear in the live-action series (whether that makes sense or not). Since it's the same time frame and the characters don't swear as much and look a bit "cuter," it's the closest thing yet to what I've been doing unofficially.

What the creator of Fanboy And ChumChum has right now is my dream job. I worried I wouldn't be able to enjoy this; that the entire time I would just be thinking "well, that's not what I would have done" or "I could have done that better!" I have only seen two episodes so far and yeah, there have been moments like that (I can certainly come up with better titles than "Welcome To Hawkins, New Kid"). It's salved a bit by the mere fact that it exists and it feels like waking up from a bad dream after that series finale. "Ha ha, no, it's still 1985, we never had to fight a video game boss battle against a beef jerky man, and El isn't leaving. You must have eaten some bad pizza. Let's go adventuring."

I'd been concerned that the cartoon show was going to wind up doing some of my ideas before I got the chance to do them myself. But now that it's out there, I don't think that's going to happen. When I wrote Electric Nightmares I thought there was no possible way the cartoon wouldn't do Polybius in Hawkins Arcade; it just felt so obvious.

....But they're never going to actually do it, are they? I now realize there are so many great ideas and stories they'll just...never...do. What's worse: having all your ideas unknowingly stolen, or never seeing those ideas realized in official form? I guess they can exist the way I've always made them happen. But if the world were perfect, I'd be the one making this show. Or Alex Hirsch would.

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